IF YOU SEE SOMEONE WITHOUT A SMILE, GIVE THEM YOURS!

Does anyone remember when I started this blog?  I used to poor my heart and soul into these entries, letting you into my life and opening up about my deepest thoughts and feelings.  Why can't I do that anymore?  I have always had a hard time opening up to people about those things but for the last couple of months, I haven't been able to do so on here either.  Maybe it is because it has been so depressing and miserable.  I know that nobody needs to know about that.  Well, times.. they are a changing.  I just went back to my old company.  I am going to miss the money from this job but that is about it.  My daughter is at her dad's house for the holiday break and as always, I miss her.  I am moving again.  I live where I work so changing jobs is changing everything.  Those are the facts.  I will add the emotions later.

Everyone complains about people who judge others and they always say that it is God's job to judge.  But isn't the very one that says that judging another by labling them as a judger.  Does the cycle ever end or do we just choose the lesser of the evils?

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I
wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.



repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong

When I started this blog, I typed out my deepest, most inner feelings about everything that life has to offer and some things that it doesn't.  Recently, I have turned that into just giving brief updates on life events.  Is it sad when you are so busy living life that you don't have time to relate, reflect, retall, and remember?  I am committing to spending some time on here tomorrow pouring out my heart with this keyboard.

After two weeks of offers and counter offers enough to make anyone sick, I have accepted a new job position with a new company in a new area. I will be starting the job in two weeks but moving there in September.  I don't think that the commute will be too bad.  I will work/live on a nicer property, my daughter will attend a better school district, and my journey will begin with another company.  It is bitter/sweet.  May the Lord bless me and keep me.